Tuesday, July 11, 2006

The Beginning

Hiberno-english

Greetings all. I just had a most interesting conversation with Bock The Robber and his famous Manchurian Skobe hound, and I was telling him how much I enjoyed his blog. Bock's, that is, not the hounds'. 'Why', says he, 'don't you set up your own fucken blog, it costs fuckall and you can let off steam about anything you like?' Which of course had the subliminal undertone of the unspoken closing phrase 'an' don't be boring the arses off us ordinary decent robbers and letting the suds go hard and yella on the tops of our pints?'

So here it goes. A blog where I can rant about all kinds of shit any time I like.

I'll start with Noel Dempsey the Ministher, who annoys the shit out of me anytime he opens his gob on the telly. You see, there's no h in ministher, neither is there one in considher or even in sthrathegy. But there is one in the, which he makes into de. So every time I hear him offering his version of standard FF clapthrap in response to some hoor with a microphone on television, I puke.

Let me tell you a little-known fact by way of short digression. Whenever a politician or a senior public servant, which is a distinction without a difference really, is up agin' the wall on something, you can gauge the depth of the shit by the length of the plan. So, a mildly challenging problem warrants a three-year plan, an intractable problem gets a five-year plan, but when they haven't a bull's fuckin' notion what the way out of the hole is, you get a full ten-year plan.

Back to Dempsey. I can just hear him now. 'The Department has considhered all de options to deal with de present sthrathegic crisis you have mentioned. As Ministher, I gan give you a cathegoric assurance dat sthructures will be put in place, and thraining will be given, and a full review of the ten-year sthartegic objectives will be made available as soon as de consulthants reporth is dhrafted and considhered by my Dhepartment....'

OH shit. I absolutely hate it. Maybe because he's the dude who gifted the nation a little-known phenomenon called betther local government. Some call it bitther local government, but I prefer buggered local government. And Dempsey done it, as he might say.

More on dhat later somethime.

Nuts

1 Comments:

Blogger Bock the Robber said...

Damn right, Nut. Exactly. Couldn't have said it betther myself.

Good to see the blogosphere filling up with right-thinking people such as your good self. Keep up the good work.

9:19 AM  

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